I started my adulthood in a corporate job, sitting on my bum all day eating bad food, drinking too much and having a hedonistic time at the weekends with a group of equally unhealthy friends.
After 2 years of that I thought 'is this it?'. I quit, I went travelling and saw the world, I was away for 18 months.
When I returned to the UK I stood on the scales and i had gained about 3 stone. A spiral of self-destructive dieting coupled with pursuing men that were neither interested in me or had anything interesting to offer me left my self esteem at an all time low. I stopped going out, I totally withdrew and I felt lost 'who had I become?'.
HOW IT ALL BEGAN...
I developed a new identity, it was someone who was 'on a diet and losing weight', I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and I didn't know what worked so I just did things I had heard of on TV or in magazines.
I tried shake diets, cutting out food groups, bingeing and starving. I tried everything and nothing worked for me, I despaired, I just kept looking at my body and thinking 'this isn’t the one, this isn’t the body I am supposed to have'.
And then, I found exercise, a friend asked if I wanted to go to a class with her and one day at a time I just kept going back. I loved how it made me feel and I just kept going. The weight didn’t fall off but I did have more confidence and I started to FEEL better, that was the beginning of the first phase of the journey.
I moved back to the city and went back to corporate but it was different this time, I was eating healthy, working out and surrounding myself with different people and life was on the up. And then, Mum got diagnosed with mesothelioma, a rare and aggressive lung cancer, stop all the clocks, she was 50.
I started to really take things seriously then, life was short and was I really living it? I took the health up a notch, ditched sugar, started running, drank less and lived for the days rather than the nights.
My body started to change quite dramatically, people noticed! But what really changed was something inside me, I began to trust myself more, I was quietly confident and I began to develop a mission.
I met a man who was both interested in me and interesting to me! I quit corporate and retrained as a Personal Trainer. I learnt how to shortcuts the process and avoid all the pain I went through in the early days of feeling like I was failing at diets and wasting my time in the gym.
That was my late 20's, by 30 I had 'The Body' and my dream career as a Personal Trainer. I had to stop working in 2017 when Mum's illness entered its final phase. I moved to Cornwall and became her carer 24/7. It was the loneliest and scariest time in my life. My only outlet was going the gym after she had gone to bed. She died in March, once again, I felt lost and my mental health took a beating.
I didn't know it was health anxiety at first, I really did think I was dying, and I thought I was ill or dying for the next 3 years. It was the worst place I have ever been and my own mind was the captor. I was in hell, someone said to me 'you'll live with this anxiety for the rest of you life, it's something you will always have to manage now', 'F*** that' is all I thought, that just wasn't an option. I had a to heal, it took 3 years and several attempts but I can safely say I am cured now. I don't believe in long term suffering. I want the same for you.
My son was born in September 2021, I had wanted a baby my whole life, my pregnancy was glorious and I trained up to 36 weeks. I felt empowered and trusted my body entirely. I was all geared up for a natural delivery but he had other ideas and late stage labour we discovered he was breech and I was rushed to emergency c-section. I suffered PTSD, post natal-depression and my boy, Zach, had colic for the first 10 weeks and cried day and night. At the time of writing Zach is 17 months, he is a joyful soul, we have the most amazing bond and being his mother is my true privilege.
It's been a rollercoaster, nothing is linear on this journey but my resolve, my commitment to find joy, to stay strong and keep searching has never wained. I have been to the edge, and I have come back from it may times. You need to know this, you need to know it isn't easier for me, I'm not special or different, but I can help you find the same inner confidence and self belief that has helped me survive and flourish into a woman I know would have made my Mum proud, and the kind of Mother I want my son to look up to.
When a woman has the confidence to change her body everyone sees the results externally, but she changes. She becomes the person she trusts the most, she goes to herself for guidance and other areas of her life improve. My ability to love, understand and guide others has become my superpower and it all started with a decision to get fit, hot, healthy and happy. The most important thing about me is that I am just an ordinary girl who decided that she would become and extraordinary woman.
I'm here to help you! I know you are frustrated and fed up with not getting anywhere, I know how you feel about your body is affecting your whole life and I am committed to helping you to transform all that.
and paid programmes and with VIP retreats, I help women like you OWN it! Whether this is the first time you've ever tried or whether you have tried and failed a hundred times over I am confident that I can get you the results that you have been dreaming of.